What my family thinks

I know on some level that I shouldn't give a crap what the family thinks because this is, after all, our life and our decision. I would like for everyone to be happy for us, but I just had that sinking feeling that it wasn't going to go that way. Since we live in my father's house, we definitely need his blessing. I mean, if he is against this whole thing then we are going to have to find a new place to live on top of everything else. That is not a prospect that I am looking forward to.

Why would my dad be against the adoption? Well, I'm not sure. Don't forget that he was born in 1935 and is a product of his time. When I was a teen, I heard him say lots of racist things. I know he was definitely of the belief that people should stay with their own kind. You know what I mean-whites with whites; blacks with blacks and so on, He was thinking in terms of people dating & marrying though. Raising a child of a different race never came up. Would he feel differently about it since this different race child would be my daughter and his granddaughter or would it be equally as bad in his eyes?

I had to tell him first simply because we lived together. I had worked myself up into such a frenzy about the possible outcomes that I couldn't sleep at night. Albert & I decided to tell him and get it over with. We'd deal with the aftermath once we knew. It was late August 2003 and he was sitting outside on the deck. I called him inside so that we could tell him. I said,

"You know that AR and I have been trying to have a baby..." He interrupted me, "You're pregnant?" I could hear the excitement in his voice. "No, "I told him, "not exactly." He looked confused. "We've been through all the doctors and it just isn't going to happen for us that way so we are going to adopt a baby. We're probably going to China."

He just stood there for a minute and then came over with a huge smile on his face and hugged me and Albert. "Congratulations!" he said. "You're going to be parents." He seemed really excited.

I told him that I was worried about his reaction. "Why?" he wanted to know, surprised that we thought he'd be anything but happy for us. "Well," you've said some racist things in the past and your granddaughter is going to be Chinese." He quickly blew that off and said that he didn't care where she was from, that she would be his granddaughter. I started to cry because I was relieved and happy all at the same time.

This was a huge weight off of my shoulders. The rest of my family was going to be a breeze to tell. We all had a drink to celebrate. It was the best drink I'd had in a long time.