Rumors May be True!

Okay, there was a posting on the Spanish message boards that referrals came through for those waiting families in Spain. Does that mean that I will get my referral? I can't say 100%, but as long as referrals are being sent for U.S. waiting families I cannot fathom that we will not get our referral this time around. This is going to be one very long day for me.

Referrals?

Okay, now the CCAA is predictable to a point. I know it goes in cycles, but they have been sending referrals every month. We, the waiting, have come to expect this. Well, since we've been waiting, they have been sending referrals every month. We are definitely next. I mean, we missed the cut off date last month by one day so we know that we have to be in the nest set of referrals, which should be this month and yet, it is nearly the end of August and NO REFERRALS. There isn't even a referral rumor.

Why am I being f***** with? WHY? All I want is my baby. Really, is that too much to ask? I don't know how much more of this I can take. Truthfully, I feel as if I am a woman on the brink of insanity. I am on http://groups.yahoo.com/group/a-parents-china/ night and day hitting that refresh button. I cannot even pretend that I am getting any work done at work either. I am a complete basketcase.

If my referral doesn't come soon, it won't even matter. I will be in the looney bin. Stop by and visit, will you?

The Baby's Room is Done

Her room needed a lot of work. We had someone come in to repair the cracked ceiling. This took about a week to finish and it was messy! Thankfully we were going to replace the carpeting.

My dad put in the wood trim to go around the window. Amazing how much nicer it looks now with that done.

The color scheme: decided on pale green and pale yellow. Originally I had samples of paint that were electric yellow and super bright green. Anyone that I showed the samples to made a face. I was disappointed with the reactions. I really liked those colors, but because of the revulsion of others, I started to second guess myself. I didn't want the room to shock my baby so I went with the lighter shades. The colors are soothing. The wall and ceiling is green and all of the wood trim is yellow.

We ripped out the old carpeting. That was a filthy mess. Yuck! There is a hardwood floor underneath, but the floor is not in good shape. We picked out a light green carpet and hired someone to install it. The color is not the same as the walls, but it all looks good together. Now all we need is a baby to go in this room!

Not even thinking about referrals

I cannot even discuss referrals now. I can't even think about it. Okay? Lets move on.

I painted a wooden letter K the same color yellow that we painted the trim in the baby's room. I gave it to Aunt Gina roday to finish it off. She is so creative! She came up with all of these words that begin with the letter K and she will paint them onto the wood. I think it is going to look really cute in the baby's room.

Albert and I went to the doctor two weeks ago to get some shots that we needed to get for our upcoming trip to China. The shots we got were Hepatitus A, Hepatitus B, Measles/Mumps/Ruebella, and Tetanus/Diptheria. Boy, did our arms hurt! I woke up this morning covered in spots! I went to the doctor and he said I had a measley response to the measle vaccine. I am itchy too. Thought the vaccine was supposed to prevent me from contracting measles! Argh!!! Well, I'll be ready by the time we go to China, whenever that may be.

Bad News~No referral for us :(

I am crushed. No, even more than that. I am devastated. Referrals came. Yes, they did. All of December, all of January and nearly all of February received their precious referrals. The month of February was split. Referrals were sent up to and including February 26th. We missed the cut off by one day! One freaking day. I cannot believe that the entire month was not included. I mean, there are only 28 days in February for chrissakes! WTF!

I was so sure that we were getting our referral. I mean, SO SURE and now I have nothing. Don't even DARE to tell me that I will get the child I am meant to have, okay? I don't want to hear it. I WANT MY BABY NOW! Do you understand that? Do you? Let me have my pity party. Thank you.

July 22, 2004 Referral Rumor

The rumor is that referrals are coming and will include all LIDs for December, January and February. That means us! Our LID is February 27th! We should have our referral in a few days. Thw wait is nearly over. Woo Hoo!

Referral Rumors

Adoption sites thrive on referral rumors. When you are waiting, you tend to hang onto whatever scraps of info you can glean from any source. I was an avid reader of a-parents china yahoo group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/a-parents-china/ Truth be told, it nearly drove me insane. I can say that now in retrospect, but at the time, it was all I had. The waiting is hard, and when you learn of referrals, you can guesstimate when you will get yours based on log in dates etc. Now I wish I had never gotten so wrapped up into the rumors, but alas, it was intoxicating. I spent many sleepless nights reading the boards and hoping and wondering when my referral was going to be next.

The next posts are comprised from my journal writings.

June 14, 2004
Today I heard a great rumor. All of November and most of December LID will get their referrals this week. That would mean that we will get our referral in August! I sure hope this rumor is true!

Albert took a part-time job to earn some extra money. A very dear friend of ours gave him a job working in an office supply store. She is the store manager, so it should work out for both of us, I hope.