Adoption sites thrive on referral rumors. When you are waiting, you tend to hang onto whatever scraps of info you can glean from any source. I was an avid reader of a-parents china yahoo group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/a-parents-china/ Truth be told, it nearly drove me insane. I can say that now in retrospect, but at the time, it was all I had. The waiting is hard, and when you learn of referrals, you can guesstimate when you will get yours based on log in dates etc. Now I wish I had never gotten so wrapped up into the rumors, but alas, it was intoxicating. I spent many sleepless nights reading the boards and hoping and wondering when my referral was going to be next.
The next posts are comprised from my journal writings.
June 14, 2004
Today I heard a great rumor. All of November and most of December LID will get their referrals this week. That would mean that we will get our referral in August! I sure hope this rumor is true!
Albert took a part-time job to earn some extra money. A very dear friend of ours gave him a job working in an office supply store. She is the store manager, so it should work out for both of us, I hope.
Monday, June 14, 2004
Thursday, April 1, 2004
The Wait
The waiting is the hardest part...Yes it sure is, but I have been keeping myself very busy. First order of business is to switch all the rooms around. Albert and I were moving out of the master bedroom suite so that my dad could move from the medium sized bedroom that we were going to take. His having the larger bedroom allowed us to also move his tv, books and computer from the den that will be our daughter's room. It is the smallest of the three bedrooms.
It is a pretty straight forward thing, just moving stuff around, but my dad is someone who does not like change. He understands why we have to move everything, but he isn't so sure why we have to do it now when we don't even have a referral yet. I tried to explain that I couldn't wait until I got the referral as there would be so many other things I'd have to do then, but he thinks I am just a little crazy I guess, but he is going along with it, begudgingly!
The trick to this multi-room move is to do it when my dad will be out of the house for a few hours because there is going to be stuff all over the place. In addition, we had to call the cable company and the phone company in to move the cable and change the telephone lines, so there was going to be a bit of confusion. So that was our plan and it pretty much worked. We had to move all of our stuff out of the master bedroom in put it in the living room and dining room temporarily. This enabled us to move all of my dad's bedroom furniture into his new room. Then we moved all of his stuff from the den into the bedroom.
Then we painted his old bedroom so that we'd have fresh paint on the walls. It is always best to paint when there is no furniture in the room, so this was a grand opportunity. We did however, have to sleep in the living room that night because it was so late by the time the painting was finished that we did not a. have the energy to move the furniture into the room and b. did not want to sleep with the paint fumes so strong.
By the end of the weekend my dad and I had switched bedrooms and my daughter's room was empty. This room was going to require a lot of work. Painting, new carpeting, fix the crack in the ceiling and put trim on the window. See, we will have a lot of stuff to do while we wait!
It is a pretty straight forward thing, just moving stuff around, but my dad is someone who does not like change. He understands why we have to move everything, but he isn't so sure why we have to do it now when we don't even have a referral yet. I tried to explain that I couldn't wait until I got the referral as there would be so many other things I'd have to do then, but he thinks I am just a little crazy I guess, but he is going along with it, begudgingly!
The trick to this multi-room move is to do it when my dad will be out of the house for a few hours because there is going to be stuff all over the place. In addition, we had to call the cable company and the phone company in to move the cable and change the telephone lines, so there was going to be a bit of confusion. So that was our plan and it pretty much worked. We had to move all of our stuff out of the master bedroom in put it in the living room and dining room temporarily. This enabled us to move all of my dad's bedroom furniture into his new room. Then we moved all of his stuff from the den into the bedroom.
Then we painted his old bedroom so that we'd have fresh paint on the walls. It is always best to paint when there is no furniture in the room, so this was a grand opportunity. We did however, have to sleep in the living room that night because it was so late by the time the painting was finished that we did not a. have the energy to move the furniture into the room and b. did not want to sleep with the paint fumes so strong.
By the end of the weekend my dad and I had switched bedrooms and my daughter's room was empty. This room was going to require a lot of work. Painting, new carpeting, fix the crack in the ceiling and put trim on the window. See, we will have a lot of stuff to do while we wait!
Monday, March 15, 2004
Our LID!
I have been waiting to hear news of our official log in date so everyday I anxiously go through the mail looking for a letter from CHI. Last week I was disappointed because there was a letter from CHI about waiting children, but it wasn't what I was hoping for.
As I sorted through the mail today, I saw an envelope that looked like a book. It was upside down so I didn't know who it was from, but I set it aside to look at all the letter-type envelopes. There were none from CHI. I flipped over the book envelope and it was from CHI. I opened it and there was a letter with my official log in date of 2-27-04 and a book called "Does Anybody Else Look Like Me?" A parent's guide to raising multiracial children. What a pleasant surprise. Thanks CHI! We are officially DTC for February!!!
As I sorted through the mail today, I saw an envelope that looked like a book. It was upside down so I didn't know who it was from, but I set it aside to look at all the letter-type envelopes. There were none from CHI. I flipped over the book envelope and it was from CHI. I opened it and there was a letter with my official log in date of 2-27-04 and a book called "Does Anybody Else Look Like Me?" A parent's guide to raising multiracial children. What a pleasant surprise. Thanks CHI! We are officially DTC for February!!!
Monday, March 1, 2004
DTC & LID
The home office of CHI in Saint Louis had my dossier and were looking it over to make sure everything was there that was supposed to be there. It takes a while to do this, gather up all the dossiers that were going at the same time and then send them to China, DTC (Dossier to China) . However, CHI sends them to their office in China to have all the dossiers translated into Chinese first. Some agencies translate the dossiers in the US an then send them to the CCAA for processing.
Why is this important? Well, once you know when the CCAA has logged in your dossier, then you can estimate when you will be getting your referral. In my case, being DTC wouldn't give be an estimate because DTC just meant it was going to the Chinese office of CHI. What I needed was a LID- log in date. This is the date that the Chinese governemnet logged in my dossier. This is the date that I could use to estimate when I might receive my referral.
Another hitch is that CHI knows when they send the dossiers to the CCAA, but that date doesn't matter either (not that they tell us this date). The dossiers could be sitting on someone's desk in China for weeks before someone actually logs in the date that it was received.
Although we sent the dossier to CHI in January, it still had to go through processing on their end in the U.S. and in China. I was hoping to have a February LID, but would have to wait until I received my official notification from CHI.
in 2004, referrals were coming 5-7 months after LID. If we had a February LID, we could get our referral in July or August and that would mean we'd be in China in September or October! We just need a LID!!!!
Why is this important? Well, once you know when the CCAA has logged in your dossier, then you can estimate when you will be getting your referral. In my case, being DTC wouldn't give be an estimate because DTC just meant it was going to the Chinese office of CHI. What I needed was a LID- log in date. This is the date that the Chinese governemnet logged in my dossier. This is the date that I could use to estimate when I might receive my referral.
Another hitch is that CHI knows when they send the dossiers to the CCAA, but that date doesn't matter either (not that they tell us this date). The dossiers could be sitting on someone's desk in China for weeks before someone actually logs in the date that it was received.
Although we sent the dossier to CHI in January, it still had to go through processing on their end in the U.S. and in China. I was hoping to have a February LID, but would have to wait until I received my official notification from CHI.
in 2004, referrals were coming 5-7 months after LID. If we had a February LID, we could get our referral in July or August and that would mean we'd be in China in September or October! We just need a LID!!!!
Saturday, January 24, 2004
I-171H Arrives
Albert, and I were having breakfast when we heard the postal carrier at the door. The dogs go crazy, which is really what alerted us to the postal carrier. Anyway, we have a slot through the door that the mail comes through. I leaned back to yell at the dogs to knock it off (they were really loud) and saw the mail as it was spilling into the hallway. I saw a brown envelope. Now, I have been sending away for all of these free samples lately so I thought it was one of those.
I ran over to get it and when I looked at the envelope, I saw that it was from Homeland Security. Quickly I scooped it up and ran over to AR. "I think we got it," I shrieked. Carefully I opened it up, but there were a few documents in there. I was looking for the I-171H somewhere on the forms...I didn't see it. "
Well, is it the form?" AR asked.
"I can't tell," I replied as I was flipping through the documents and then, I saw it.
There was the tiny I-171H in the corner that I was looking for. Yes, we have the approval!!!!! On 1/24/2004 we received the I-171H. I ran out the door now to make copies, got them notarized and off to the state of NJ for the seal. And, I was doing the happy dance the whole way!
I ran over to get it and when I looked at the envelope, I saw that it was from Homeland Security. Quickly I scooped it up and ran over to AR. "I think we got it," I shrieked. Carefully I opened it up, but there were a few documents in there. I was looking for the I-171H somewhere on the forms...I didn't see it. "
Well, is it the form?" AR asked.
"I can't tell," I replied as I was flipping through the documents and then, I saw it.
There was the tiny I-171H in the corner that I was looking for. Yes, we have the approval!!!!! On 1/24/2004 we received the I-171H. I ran out the door now to make copies, got them notarized and off to the state of NJ for the seal. And, I was doing the happy dance the whole way!
Friday, January 9, 2004
Fingerprint Appointment
I sent the form into Homeland Security on 12/11/2003. On 12/15/03 I received a letter from them with an appointment date of 1/9/2004. To say I was disappointed is an understatement. I thought that I might be able to have an appointment before the end of 2003, but that was not to be.
The AR, my dad and I were fingerprinted in Hackensack NJ at the Homeland Security office. My dad walked in first and he told the guard he was there for his fingerprint apppointment. The guard asked my dad why he needed to be fingerprinted and he said "for an adoption," the guard looked at my dad and said, "You're adopting???" We all had a laugh at that, but then he realized that AR and I were adopting.
Fingerprints were done and now I am just waiting for the I-171H to arrive in the mail. How long will it take??? Guess that is the big unknown. More waiting...
The AR, my dad and I were fingerprinted in Hackensack NJ at the Homeland Security office. My dad walked in first and he told the guard he was there for his fingerprint apppointment. The guard asked my dad why he needed to be fingerprinted and he said "for an adoption," the guard looked at my dad and said, "You're adopting???" We all had a laugh at that, but then he realized that AR and I were adopting.
Fingerprints were done and now I am just waiting for the I-171H to arrive in the mail. How long will it take??? Guess that is the big unknown. More waiting...
Thursday, November 27, 2003
Thanksgiving Came & Went - No Homestudy
I was hoping to have my homestudy in my hot little hands by Thanksgiving, but it didn't happen. I called the homestudy agency and they kept giving me excuses. The social worker had the flu. Its almost done, just proofreading etc. Finally they told me it was done. I sent AR to go pick it up because mailing it would just delay us further.
As AR flipped through the homestudy in the office, he noticed that my last name was misspelled and told them. They edited the document and re-printed it while he waited. As soon as I got home I looked through it and it all seemed okay to me, so I faxed it to CHI in NY to have Carrie look it over. She called me a day after I faxed it and said that they left my father off of the Child Abuse Report Incident, which is a major big deal! Carrie also didn't like te way some things were worded either.
I called the homestudy agency on the phone to discuss the issues. I spoke to Marie, the director. She was pissy with me. I couldn't believe her attitude. She had the balls to say, "Your husband looked at it in the office and said it was fine!" Yeah, I told her after we waited 6 weeks for the damn thing, he flipped through it quickly and saw that you misspelled my last name. You certainly didn't think that was our approval, did you???" She was snippy with me and I told her that Carrie from CHI would be calling too because they wanted a few things re-worded. She was just annoyed and thought I was a pain in the ass. Yeah, but you took my $1,200 for the homestudy so you'd better believe that it has to be correct!
I just knew she was going to make me twist in the wind waiting for the corrections. Carrie called me later in the day to say that she told them of the changes that she wanted. They weren't too nice to her either. We were both pretty sure that they were going to make us wait for the correction, which easily could have been done in 10 minutes. I called them every day to see if it was done. Finally they told it was done and I got it on December 9th.
I had hoped to be DTC by the end of the month and now it just wasn't going to happen. With holidays upon us, I figured we were looking at late January to be DTC. CHI approved the homestudy and I sent it off to Newark on December 11, 2003 with my FINAL form, the 600-A. Once Homeland Security had my homestudy and the 600-A, they would ask give us all an appointment for fingerprinting. Once the fingerprints cleared, we would get the last piece of paperwork that we need for our dossier, the 171-H. The 171-H form means that we are approved by the Federal government to bring an orphaned chilld from another country to the United States.
More waiting....
As AR flipped through the homestudy in the office, he noticed that my last name was misspelled and told them. They edited the document and re-printed it while he waited. As soon as I got home I looked through it and it all seemed okay to me, so I faxed it to CHI in NY to have Carrie look it over. She called me a day after I faxed it and said that they left my father off of the Child Abuse Report Incident, which is a major big deal! Carrie also didn't like te way some things were worded either.
I called the homestudy agency on the phone to discuss the issues. I spoke to Marie, the director. She was pissy with me. I couldn't believe her attitude. She had the balls to say, "Your husband looked at it in the office and said it was fine!" Yeah, I told her after we waited 6 weeks for the damn thing, he flipped through it quickly and saw that you misspelled my last name. You certainly didn't think that was our approval, did you???" She was snippy with me and I told her that Carrie from CHI would be calling too because they wanted a few things re-worded. She was just annoyed and thought I was a pain in the ass. Yeah, but you took my $1,200 for the homestudy so you'd better believe that it has to be correct!
I just knew she was going to make me twist in the wind waiting for the corrections. Carrie called me later in the day to say that she told them of the changes that she wanted. They weren't too nice to her either. We were both pretty sure that they were going to make us wait for the correction, which easily could have been done in 10 minutes. I called them every day to see if it was done. Finally they told it was done and I got it on December 9th.
I had hoped to be DTC by the end of the month and now it just wasn't going to happen. With holidays upon us, I figured we were looking at late January to be DTC. CHI approved the homestudy and I sent it off to Newark on December 11, 2003 with my FINAL form, the 600-A. Once Homeland Security had my homestudy and the 600-A, they would ask give us all an appointment for fingerprinting. Once the fingerprints cleared, we would get the last piece of paperwork that we need for our dossier, the 171-H. The 171-H form means that we are approved by the Federal government to bring an orphaned chilld from another country to the United States.
More waiting....
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