Dr. Bypass

Had my consultation with Dr. Bypass on Friday October 13th. Kind of an ominous date, so I was a bit nervous. I initially planned on going to work after the consult, but the sore throat I had the other day developed into a full blown cold, so I felt like shit. Called in sick.

Dr. Bypass was LATE. I was his first appointment of the day and he wasn't on time. I really hate that, but he was doing rounds at the hospital, so it wasn't like he slept late or anything. He wore a blue pinstripe suit. The pinstripes were kind of wide. Seemed like a strange choice in a suit. Weird thing is that the first time I saw him (in a group meeting) he had on the same pinstripe suit. Maybe all he owns is pinstripe? Anyway, I digress.

Got on the scale and it was the kind that tells you your weight and fat content. Great. I mean, I already know I am FAT, now I get to learn the percentage of fat I am. Oh, and they took a polaroid photo of me too. I'm sure I looked smashing in my sweatpants. I'm 52% fat. More fat than not.

Prior to the consult I had a battery of bloodwork done and an ekg and a chest x-ray which I had sent to him. I had a psych evaluation by a shrink (more on that later) & a visit to a nutritionist. I also had to fill out a stack of paperwork. I had to list my weight loss history. Yeah, that was depressing. I lost 300 pounds over the years, but of course gained it all back.

The upshot of it all was that he needs all this documentation to get the insurance company to authorize the surgery. "Not going to be a problem," he said. Wonderful, I am just so fat that they have to pay for it. Anyway, I'm supposed to weigh 145 pounds. I think I weighed that in 9th grade. Seriously, I am never going to weigh 145. Not ever. I will be happy to weigh anything in the 100s. If I follow his instructions and I choose the right foods and I exercise, one year after surgery I should weigh 190.

Before I left, I had to pick a date for my surgery. The first available date they had was November 6th. That seems awfully soon, but I said okay. Of course, my first thought was, what will I be eating for Thanksgiving? No, the surgery will not fix the way my brain works. Only I can change that and will be working on it. I can just see myself sitting there eating my two ounces of jell-o while everyone else is stuffing themselves with pepperoni, turkey, stuffing and pumpkin pie! Well, I guess the holidays are as good a time as any to do this

I haven't told anyone about the surgery yet, except AR and my best friend. Guess I'll have to tell my family and my job soon. I mean, three weeks will come pretty quickly. Don't know how long I will be out of work. I'd like it to be as long as possible though :)